Like most of us, I have been part of many cults throughout my life. One espoused a concept I found useful even after I exited said cult. This concept, called “the container”¹, gave me enough elements to begin understanding consent and to grow my ability to negotiate interactions, especially those of a sexual nature.
In the cult context, the container was understood as an overt and pre-agreed protocol regulating many aspects of an interaction. Back then, the core practice of the cult had a container that demanded explicit consent of all parties and, for example, had it that “NO” was a complete answer to a request. Attempting to extract any further explanation was seen as taboo, as it was considered that what was rejected was the proposal, not the person.
Although not everyone played by the rules², luckily in most of the environments I played in the container was generally well upheld. I have countless memories of saying “NO” to men's requests or giving adjustments for their actions without fearing retaliation or a violent reaction on their side. I also experienced the other side of the coin and got many a “NO” or an adjustment. On those occasions, I frequently got the support to negotiate overwhelming emotions if I had them. It’s clear to me that repeatedly experiencing this level of safety and freedom is uncommon for most women.
Child, fairies are similar to fractals.
After a culling, if the smallest particle of a fairy is not eradicated, that particle recreates the fairy into all her infiniteness by zooming into herself repeatedly.
Hence, one method to eradicate a fairy is to use her infiniteness against herself.
In such vastness, there are places where the fairy doesn’t know herself completely. If you find those spots, you can use them to persuade a part of hers that another part needs to be eradicated, and the fairy will start eating herself alive.
Fairies are thorough creatures, so they will not leave a stone unturned when they work towards removing something from existence.
However, they are also exceedingly wicked creatures. There is a fair chance they will discover the trick. If that happens, be very afraid.
The fairy will make sure you forget who you are and that you were trying to destroy her. She will taunt you cruelly.
Child, playing at destroying a fairy is playing with fire, it's playing at eliminating yourself.
Especially if the fairy is your very own mother.
Based on the previous interpretation of the word container, the Behemoth is more of a cage than a container — a cage that exists within something more akin to a container, and that something is called Nature.
The Behemoth is part of Nature but resents it. Actually, it fears Nature and reinforces having an adversarial relationship with Her.
That is the prison.
The Behemoth is the middleman I can’t be asked to deal with, yet I can’t bypass it.
So face it, I did.
I started telling the truth to the cage.
You are not enough for me and my desires.
You are incompetent.
You are very insecure.
You are not acting as an adult.
I told the Behemoth: You are a prison for everyone, including yourself.
I won’t be your servant.
I won’t.
Then it hit me. When I adjust my overseer, I breach the agreement. When I attempt to set boundaries with my jailer, I break ranks and that's bonkers, I know. Because, how the fuck do you do that? Who teaches you how to do that?
Well, I don’t have answers to those questions, but my running hypothesis is that every prison is also a container, even if it’s a fucked up one.
Whilst searching for a relevant translation of the word container, I discovered this very interesting thing: that a container is a sort of standalone “mini world”.
People from every echelon broke the container. How the breach was addressed depended on the members’ standing, as is typical in cults.
This short story was originally published on Facebook and later edited and republished on my Medium blog. It has been re-edited (and also translated into Spanish) for this publication.
The contents of this publication are distributed for free, though they are copyrighted ©.
If you enjoyed this post or benefitted from it in any way, please consider sharing it or making a one-time donation.
Familiarise yourself with the boundaries of my Substack before commenting.